As an investigative blog reporter, TSO sucks, although his camera takes pretty good pictures. She was out there at noon today, my friend. Stayed there till 5 P.M. We are obviously dealing with a neophyte golf spectator. So here are some clues to help you on tomorrow's quest so that your reputation doesn't go to ruin:
She will be wearing a red skirt. She will be wearing a white shirt. She will be wearing a red baseball cap emblazoned with the words "Winged Foot" (a famous golf course for rich people in New York, site of next year's men's U.S. Open, which she has played and the rest of you haven't). She will be wearing black Nike shoes. Her hair will be in a single braided pony tail. Her golf bag is a Callaway. And it has her name on it: Bernadette Luse. Her driver is covered with a tiger head. Her lipstick will be fire engine red. Her legs are two of the most symmetrical, perfectly formed limbs...but don't look at them. Got me, old man? Now I think that's enough info to get any hard-drinking, down-on-his-luck blog PI back on his feet. Oh, and she tees off at 7:37 A.M. on hole #1.