* * *There's going to be a ceremony today at the Orlando Science Center Pet Fair honoring Mayor Buddy Dyer for his heroism in coming to the aid of Alli, the Jack Russell attacked by a pit bull. There was a message on my answering machine last night from Alli's owner inviting me (the Onlooker) to attend and be likewise honored, a condition she demanded of the ceremony's organizers. There was also one from a guy named Jeff, the organizer himself. I haven't gotten back to her or him, but I won't be there. I would like to see all the pets, but I don't want to be recognized. (The law's after me.) (JK.) The world's not yet so depraved that one ought to be recognized for behaving like a normal human being. It's getting close though. Maybe next year.
* * *
Advice from the child
hey dad, i read your post about myspace on your website. i know you signed up for it to check out my site and spy on me :) I hope i've satisfied your curiosity. here's my advice and i hope you take it. stay off myspace. i honestly haven't even visited that site in months because i started getting all kinds of spam and friends requests from whorish looking girls. also, comments would show up in my comment box from "friends" when that person never actually left the comment. so that tells me that people can somehow get onto your page and pretend to be you. This screams viruses to me! myspace doesn't control anything that goes on on their website. there's a lot of porn and it's just gross. well, not real porn but close enough - i don't appreciate half naked women requesting to be my friend. and like that lady said in your comment box on your blog - that email you got was probably connected to some prostitution ring or something and i hope you didn't really respond. i haven't seen any of that happen with facebook (yet) and if it does i'll get off that site as well.
love you pops
...and i hope you didn't really respond. The women in my family still don't trust me.
I want it further noted that she mischaracterizes my motives. I wasn't spying. I was exercising my God-given parental prerogative to KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON IN MY KID'S LIFE UP UNTIL THE MOMENT MY DYING BREATH IS EXTRACTED.
Love you, sweetheart.