Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Florida 41, Ohio State 14

Memo to TSO:

GO GATORS

One of my daughters has a boyfriend from Ohio, a fanatical Buckeye fan. This does not make for peace in the valley. I have urged her to be gracious in victory, as they have been conducting a season-long war - sorry, discussion - concerning the relative merits of Big Ten and SEC football. By halftime he was reportedly in a state of near clinical depression. A post-game cell call, in which I had intended to repeat the admonition, was badly disjointed as I had interrupted her in the process of rubbing it in, a cruelty that she intended he endure for all the next week and possibly into perpetuity. I tried to explain that it was just football, a mere game, but she wasn't having any: "Oh yeah, right. This isn't just football, Dad." Yes, I admitted, it was so much more, and that's the problem. Which I don't wish to sermonize on at the moment.

I confess to feeling bad for some of the Buckeye fans. Their expressions were simply folorn and disbelieving. Then I remembered what those faces would look like if things had gone differently. They showed a little boy crying. Of course, the camera can't tell you what he's crying about. He might have said, "Daddy, I have to pee," and the old man turns to him and says, "How can you have to pee when the Buckeyes have the ball?"

I was also a little disappointed that we didn't get to see the Heisman Trophy winner show his stuff. It wasn't his fault, though. He needed help and couldn't get any.

Well, I have believed all year that the SEC is the toughest, and now that it's all over, I'll tell you who the number two team in the nation is: LSU. They can beat anybody anytime. And Ohio State is now 0-8 in bowl games against SEC opponents.

This is not to rub it in, TS, because I can't overemphasize how unimportant it all is. Neither do I wish to deprive people of their enthusiasms, merely to temper them. Besides, I can't torment a fellow who puts me on the list of his favorite books for the past year. Thanks, my friend. For that I could have suffered a Buckeye victory.

For now, the victory goes to this guy, who finally proved his worth to some reprehensibly fickle Gator fans who actually booed him at certain times during the season. Fans ought to remember that the guys on the field take the hits, not the wannabes in the bleachers:

15 comments:

Elena said...

This is not to rub it in, TS, because I can't overemphasize how unimportant it all is.

Ugh.. I think that's blasphemy on this side of the Ohio River!

TS said...

A hat tip to the Gators. They are the gen-u-wine article.

William Luse said...

Yeah, for a lot of people the football stadium makes a good substitute for a church.

Turns out they are, TS, just took them a while to play like it.

Anonymous said...

Dad, don't even try to pretend for a second you didn't care about that game...I know you let you class out early that night so you could get home and watch.

It's kinda hard to watch my fanatical Buckeye fan of a boyfriend so upset about losing to Florida...maybe I should take it easier on him...but I probably won't because not only did they get trounced in football but they got trounced in basketball too!

Susan said...

Love the comment about the little boy crying...

A few years ago my friend Laurie and I went to NYC to see a few Broadway shows. We were walking around and someone gave us free tickets to a TV show (my retrospective embarrasment prevents me from saying which one) and we accepted them.

During the show they were having the most assinine discussion and they wouldn't let anyone leave to use the rest-room.

A few months later when the show aired, they were deep in discussion and the camera did a close-up on Laurie's face. She looked like she was really concerned for the people on stage. When we watched it together, she said "Oh! That's me squirming in my seat because I had to pee so badly!!!"

Anonymous said...

Dear (other) anonymous,

You have a very good boyfriend. OSU fans rule.

-OSU FAN

William Luse said...

Bern, use your name.

I'll have you know my class went through the same first meeting routine as every other. It always results in their getting out early.

As to not caring, oh, all right, I care. Some. Not much. You mother's the fanatic. My right ear still hurts and her voice is still hoarse. I see that the intensity of your taunting increases with the frequency of OSU losses to Fla. How charitable, especially since it appears your boyfriend may be afflicted with some kind of sports-induced neurosis. If you really loved him you'd get him to therapy.

That second anonymous is either him or TSO. My bet's on TS, who didn't even graduate from there.

Susan, I was on TV once too. Went to Rockefeller Center when I was about thirteen. My aunt knew people so I got to go backstage for a popular, early morning game show, Tic Tac Dough or something. It was hosted by Jack Berry (he winked at me) who was later disgraced by a prime time game show scandal. Can't remember if it was 21 or the 60,000 dollar question. That doesn't have anything to do with your comment, but I'm not going to any shows where you have to wear Depends.

TS said...

But I do live in the state of Ohio. My friend Ham o' Bone cherry-picked the Dolphins to root for, sans any geographic attachments. That seems like dirty pool, but to his credit he's stuck with him through thick (the 70s when he started with them) and thin (lately).

William Luse said...

I felt something for the Dolphins when Shula was there, because he started with one of my childhood loyalties, the Baltimore Colts. I ought to be rooting for the Jaquars, but...

TS said...

I'd kinda like to see the Saints win it all, given how much that city has been thru.

William Luse said...

I can go with either one. The Bears were my other childhood team. Lived in Illinois a few years and spent my teenage Sundays watching Mike Ditka run over people. All the Saints have is Deuce McCallister, star running back at Ole Miss when Bern was there. She knew him, btw, ran into him in the weight room often.

TS said...

Remember Ron Harper? He played basketball for the Chicago Bulls with "Air" Jordan. I think he's got a championship ring. I met him when he ref'd one of our intramural games.

William Luse said...

I do remember him. Didn't he play for the Magic as well?

TS said...

See here

William Luse said...

Then I must have remembered his name from when he played *against* the Magic. I don't keep up with the NBA too well. Though I love the game.