Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Spent yesterday grading final exams with the rest of the English department. It's an essay exam, timed (2hrs), which you either pass or fail. A few observations gleaned from these papers:

- One fellow, writing about a place that people would benefit from visiting, mentions his trip to London. That's in England, he reminds us. He especially enjoyed his trip to Westminster Abbey, a really big chapel, but most of all he liked Big Ben. "It was a glorious site. Big Ben is where Time is made. It is the one clock all other clocks in the world follow. It is the mother of all clocks."

- A young lady, writing on the subject of gender bias, was upset that she would never be allowed to play for the Orlando Magic, and that her parents wouldn't let her play football when she was in high school, all because she was a girl.

- A like-minded gentlemen knew for a fact that there were no real differences between men and women because he had gotten his ass kicked once by a female kickboxer. His ability to admit this makes him a better man than I.

- Again on the subject of places to visit, one fellow marvels at all the...marvels that the U.S. has to offer, specifically extolling "Walt Disney World, The Statute of Liberty, Time Square, and Hover Damp."

- I don't remember the topic, but another guy, in an attempt to honor veterans, acknowledges that some of them have fought "meaningless wars, like the two in Vietnam and the one that still rages in Korea," but then relates the story of "Fred and Billy Joe" fighting valiantly in Iraq, the two of whom "died from a motorshell that exploded in their faces, ripping them to bloody shreds." Striving for analogy, he thought this much like "watching a German line up a group of Jews so that he can assassinate them with one shot."

- And on the subject of a tradition that should be passed on to our children, a number of students thought we should return to the habit of eating meals together. "Eating dinner together," says one, "has been a tradition in my family for years. It's important for children to spend time with family, tell them about their day, and experience a nuclear environment."

Well! There it is.
Posted by Peony Moss email at December 16, 2004 02:36 PM

i weep for the future.
Posted by smockmomma email at December 16, 2004 03:46 PM

I didn't know you were teaching 3rd grade. (ooops, sorry, that was a little bitchy. Not directed at you, of course.) Must remember to tell my family at dinner - in our nuclear environment - that I have found out where time is made. How did this ever escape my knowledge? :)
Posted by Ellyn email at December 19, 2004 08:01 AM

Thanks for the laugh. Did you fail them all?
Posted by Lee-new-reader email at December 27, 2004 12:25 PM

I don't remember. No sooner was I out the door than I had put it all behind me. But it's doubtful. In modern education, as in religion, invincible ignorance is one of the doorways to redemption.
Posted by William Luse email at December 27, 2004 02:09 PM

It's tarefying to think, that these people can electrify the president.
Posted by SecretAgentMan email at January 3, 2005 12:23 AM

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