Saturday, April 12, 2008

Sweets, Update on Alli, no place for myspace

I made a lemon pound cake last night with a lemon glaze icing drizzled over it. After I put it in the oven, I licked the mixing bowl clean. I think I actually had my head inside the bowl at one point. Sorry you couldn't be here.
                    *          *          *
There's going to be a ceremony today at the Orlando Science Center Pet Fair honoring Mayor Buddy Dyer for his heroism in coming to the aid of Alli, the Jack Russell attacked by a pit bull. There was a message on my answering machine last night from Alli's owner inviting me (the Onlooker) to attend and be likewise honored, a condition she demanded of the ceremony's organizers. There was also one from a guy named Jeff, the organizer himself. I haven't gotten back to her or him, but I won't be there. I would like to see all the pets, but I don't want to be recognized. (The law's after me.) (JK.) The world's not yet so depraved that one ought to be recognized for behaving like a normal human being. It's getting close though. Maybe next year.
                    *          *          *

Advice from the child

hey dad, i read your post about myspace on your website. i know you signed up for it to check out my site and spy on me :) I hope i've satisfied your curiosity. here's my advice and i hope you take it. stay off myspace. i honestly haven't even visited that site in months because i started getting all kinds of spam and friends requests from whorish looking girls. also, comments would show up in my comment box from "friends" when that person never actually left the comment. so that tells me that people can somehow get onto your page and pretend to be you. This screams viruses to me! myspace doesn't control anything that goes on on their website. there's a lot of porn and it's just gross. well, not real porn but close enough - i don't appreciate half naked women requesting to be my friend. and like that lady said in your comment box on your blog - that email you got was probably connected to some prostitution ring or something and i hope you didn't really respond. i haven't seen any of that happen with facebook (yet) and if it does i'll get off that site as well.

love you pops

All right, advice noted. I'd already canceled my account anyway when I went back to copy and paste Gina's letter and saw an ad for a hookup site featuring a couple of clean-cut guys holding hands and staring longingly into each other's eyes.

...and i hope you didn't really respond. The women in my family still don't trust me.

I want it further noted that she mischaracterizes my motives. I wasn't spying. I was exercising my God-given parental prerogative to KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON IN MY KID'S LIFE UP UNTIL THE MOMENT MY DYING BREATH IS EXTRACTED.

Love you, sweetheart.

7 comments:

Lydia McGrew said...

I'm glad your daughter thinks I may be on to something re. the prostitution ring. I have further evidence: A couple of days after reading your post on that, I got a spam message using the phrase "I'm writing this from a friend's account" and directing to a place where one can "view naughty pictures." So apparently that bit about writing from a friend's account is a standard line in unsavory bulk spam.

Anonymous said...

A couple of days after reading your post on that, I got a spam message...

Almost makes you wonder if they're connected.:~)

Funny how they don't care what sex you are. They just throw the spam into the cyber waters knowing that some fish will take the bait.

Lydia McGrew said...

Btw, kudos to Alli's owner for demanding that you be honored, too. Mayor Buddy should've said "nah" as well.

Anonymous said...

yea, love you too, dad. Call it what you will - it's spying :)

Anonymous said...

Why was it spying? You had a page set to "public". Anyone who signed up could look at it.

Anonymous said...

well, i'm pretty sure you didn't have any other friends on myspace that you wanted to keep in touch with like i did. i'm also pretty sure you saw some tv report about some of the things people post on that sight and were afraid your first born was partaking (i recall a worried phone call from mom) so you signed up to check out my page - heir go, spying!

i still love you anyway - i'm excited for golf this weekend!

Anonymous said...

you meant ergo.

That's about how it went, but it's still not spying. If I'd been spying I wouldn't have publicly announced I was doing it. That's bad spying technique.